


Snark

by Barcardivodka



Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-07 19:24:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/752126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barcardivodka/pseuds/Barcardivodka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of the co-stars is not happy.</p><p>Crack!fic</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snark

**Author's Note:**

> Complete and utter nonsense, was going to keep it hidden on my LJ page, but what the hell…enjoy! :D
> 
> Unbeta'd
> 
> Radcliffe Camera: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radcliffe_Camera
> 
> Bodleian Old Library: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bodleian_Library

“Oh for the love of…!” The Radcliffe Camera bit out, sighing so violently that the pigeons roosting on its roof took off with a thunder of flapping wings and outraged coo’s.  
  
“S’up?” was the somewhat bored reply from the Bodleian Old Library.  
  
“It’s them. Again!” The pigeons circling the Radcliffe Camera’s domed roof decided against re-landing on the temperamental building, the Camera was obviously in one of its moods today. They flew off towards the meadows to torment the tourists there instead.  
  
“Really! Which one?” The Bodleian queried, its lackadaisical attitude vanishing at the prospect of what was coming.  
  
“Hang on,” the Camera said as it peered down at the milling people below, “they’re so small it’s difficult to make out the detail on some of them….  
  
“Well, which one is it?” Concern coloured Bodleian’s words at the continuing silence of the Camera.  
  
“It’s Lewis!” The Camera eventually ground out.  
  
“Oh, are the ones who play the main characters here?” Bodleian brightened at the prospect, “they are rather lovely those two. They’ve both touched me, you know,” it whispered out in contentment.  
  
Camera glared at Bodleian in outrage.  
  
“That’s it, I’m phoning my agent,” it declared, “the last series of Lewis I only got five minutes screen time per episode. Five minutes!” The Camera scowled down at the humans in the Square.  
  
“So?” The Bodleian dared to reply. “They do pay for your stone mason…erm…habit.”  
  
“That’s not the point,” Camera snapped back. “If it wasn’t for me, there would be no Lewis, none I tell you, no Morse, no Lewis, none of that new one…what’s it called?”  
  
“Endeavour.”  
  
“No Endeavour,” Camera carried on, “I am Oxford. Without me, they are nothing.”  
  
Bodleian would have rolled its eyes, if it had any. Personally it thought Camera had been affected by too much pigeon poop on its roof.  
  
Leaving Camera to its diva delusions, Bodleian tried to catch a glimpse of the two Lewis leads, hoping that there would be lots and lots of touching this series.  
  
Bodleian loved Lewis…and Hathaway.


End file.
